WHAT'S LEFT?

The glisten of the polished wooden counter, smudged my reflection, as I tried to look at myself smiling, while swirling my freshly poured glass of whiskey. Sarah rushed in as soon as she saw me from the door of the bar.

“Are you still going to ask for another?” Sarah asked.

Silence circulated between us for about 5 to 10 minutes, and the swirling of my glass followed the forced grimace and smiles.

“What does the world need from me anyway” I said.

Sarah sighed and turned away for a few seconds, as the silence grew and turned back to me.

“J… You said, you’d do it for me” Sarah said.

I looked down at the whiskey decreasing its speed in swirling and took a big sip, and then coughed with a slight choke.

“WHHHHYYYYYY?! DAMN IT!! TELL ME WHYYYY?!” Sarah shouted.

Sarah clutched onto my jacket shaking me trying get me to get back to my senses.

I continued to cough and took another sip of my whiskey, and groaned at the sting it sent down my throat.

“There’s nothing left for me..I..I” I said.

My arms trembled and the whiskey poured as I tried to salvage the drops that fell.

I tried to drink up more whiskey but ultimately fell down causing others to mess up their drinks.

“HEYY! What’s wrong with you pal? You just spilled my drink!” One of the men seated next to me yelled.

“Jaaammmess!!” Sarah shouted.

I tried to climb up and get my footing but I staggered and crawled on the floor as I slid on the wall towards the exit, while holding my whiskey.

“Ja..Ja… Where are you going?” Sarah asked.

 

 

I took a bigger a sip of my whiskey and as I slowly staggered on the pavement with no idea where I was going, and suddenly some razor blades fell from my jacket pocket.

“Freaking goodness James! What are these?! What the hell are these?!” Sarah said.

Sarah picked up the razor blades and lifted the to my face as her firm grip on my jacket strengthened and she pinned me on the wall to get me to speak. My alcoholic breath stung her in the face as she got close and moved away.

“Ja…James are those… Are those scars on your wrist?!” Sarah asked.

She lifted my wrist as one half of my jacket had opened and whiskey poured from my mouth.

“Its..Its.. I don’t know what reason there is to…” I said.

Silence developed between us, and only the faint music from the bar could be heard in the midst of the cars that drove past us.

“Sarah…I don’t want to hurt you…I” I said.

Sarah’s grip tightened on my jacket as her eyes slightly watered.

“Did…Did…Did you read my note?” I said.

“Which note? Which note? It’s been five years together. Which note have you missed to give me?” She asked.

“To my love, Sarah, there’s nothing that came close to keeping me going day by day but you. From the day at the restaurant, I dropped my jacket in your car and I came for it, while still drunk sober the day after the party.

You were nothing but brilliant, and words almost fail me to write, as I head off for one last drink. You look to me in many ways but in other ways, I feel I’ve fell short. There’s not much I have to offer this world anymore.

I know we’ve had our ups and downs, and promised so much in future. Although, I unfortunately see no end to the turmoil I face. I didn’t want..”

I flipped open my phone to show her the preview of the message, but she didn't finish and my phone was slippery with her tears as she held me closer and tears run down my face, as I tried to tug on closer.

“Today was to be my last day in this world, babe” I said.

“Not when I’m still here” She said.

We sobbed on the pavement, as she held me tighter.

“You aren’t going anywhere tonight, we’ll sleep in my car” She said.